I thought I would start  off with a poem. I'm not really a poet at heart, but sometimes something half decent will squeeze itself out of my brain. It's a topic close to my heart - one of my "real jobs" is that of an aged care RN, working in dementia units. This poem reflects the sentiments of so many people that I have met on the dementia path. Anticipatory grief  is a very real phenomenon.

 A Mother Lost

 

She is gone, yet she is still here.

Her dreaded diagnosis, our deepest fear.

Months ago, we lost her mind,

Though her body remains behind.

Her heart still beats, her lungs still breathe,

Her eyes still see, her veins will still bleed.

The haggard face, wrinkles and lines,

Once beheld a sharp, strong mind.

A cruel disease took the mind away,

No longer the person we knew yesterday.

We watch her struggle with basic tasks,

Almost as though she wore a mask,

That hid from view the person we knew,

And forced us to get to know her anew.

The smiling eyes we once knew are no more,

Fear and confusion, have now come to the fore.

She knows not who we are anymore,

Which rocks us all to our very core.

We know not who she has become,

But still we search for our precious Mum.

A glimmer of that soul whom we hold so dear,

Surely a small piece of her is still here?

That's all we ask, just one small trace,

Anything at all, that this disease can't erase.

This loss is a feeling like no other,

This unknown imposter who once was our mother.

It's the cruelest road, a difficult path,

That leaves many tears in its aftermath.

How do you grieve for someone you hold dear,

When their soul is gone, but their body still here?